The playoff loss by his beloved Dallas Cowboys is going to stay with Jordan Garnett awhile.
Garnett, a 24-year-old stand-up comedian from Boynton Beach, was so sure the Cowboys were going to win the Super Bowl this season that last month, he put it down in ink — on his right biceps.
“Super Bowl LI champions,” reads his tattoo, accompanied by the Cowboys’ ubiquitous star logo.
Faster than you can say “How ‘bout dem Packers!”, Garnett’s hopes were erased Sunday night when Green Bay eliminated the Cowboys in a 34-31 playoff classic.
“I cried my eyes out last night,” Garnett said Monday.
Unfortunately, those tears did nothing to wash away a tattoo that’s drenched in irony.
For starters: “I actually really don’t like tattoos that much,” Garnett said. “I always said I would never get one.”
And: The tattoo was paid for by a New York Giants fan who tried to talk him out of it at the last minute.
If by now you’re picturing Garnett as a prime candidate for one of those “football vs. life” commercials featuring ex-Steelers coach Bill Cowher, hang on. There’s more.
Garnett said the Super Bowl Host Committee in Houston, site of this season’s title game, promised four free tickets if the Cowboys made it. He also had commercial deals lined up.
On the plus side, Garnett does have an important stand-up gig on the horizon.
In Wisconsin. Packers country.
“I definitely will show the tattoo,” Garnett said. “They’ll love it.”
Garnett might not have to tell any jokes, the Cheeseheads will find it so amusing.
Garnett credits his father with turning him into a Cowboys fan in 1999. He got the star tattooed on his arm a handful of years ago, but it wasn’t until last month, amid Dallas’ 13-3 regular-season run, that Garnett had an inkling he should visit the tattoo parlor and — we can’t resist — go out on a limb.
Things looked really bad when Green Bay stormed to a 21-3 lead. Things looked pretty good when the Cowboys rallied for a 31-31 tie in the dying seconds, seemingly to force overtime. Then, Aaron Rodgers hit an improbable 36-yard pass to Jared Cook to set up Mason Crosby’s winning 51-yard field goal on the final play — an ending so dramatic, NFL Network planned to air the game again Monday night.
One man’s instant classic is another man’s Bawlers.
At least Garnett took a sporting approach to the whole thing, which is more than he can say about some middle school kids who he says have bombarded him with death threats, apparently thinking he jinxed Dallas.
“These kids are mean,” he said.
As for Garnett, he has until this weekend to come up with self-deprecating jokes for his appearance at The Improv in West Palm Beach. He’s also doing his podcast at 8 p.m. Tuesday, which will have a live stream on weinetwork.com and include a guest: a tattoo artist.
Garnett is adding an extra ‘I’ to his tattoo so it will read “Super Bowl LII champions” — an early prediction for the the 2018 Super Bowl in Minnesota.
“Obviously, I’m not that great with guarantees,” he said. “But I’ll guarantee it again: We’ll win it next year.”
If that fails, he has another fall-back: Super Bowl LIII in Atlanta.
After that, problems. The 2020 title game will be at Hard Rock Stadium.
That’s Super Bowl LIV.
Check out The Palm Beach Post‘s Miami Dolphins page on Facebook.