New Dolphin DE William Hayes on dinosaurs, mermaids, the moon

This guy needs a mic around him at all times. (Getty Images)

I’m already completely on board with the Dolphins’ trade for defensive end Williams Hayes.

Hayes came to Miami after a deal with the Rams this morning that also involved the Dolphins swapping out their sixth-round pick for Los Angeles’ seventh rounder in this year’s draft. He was a full-time starter for the Rams last year and had five sacks, pushing his career total to 34.5, and he’s fully content to come in as a reserve behind Cameron Wake and Andre Branch.

But none of that is important. Here’s what is: He doesn’t believe in dinosaurs or that mankind has ever set foot on the moon. He also is very open to the possibility that mermaids exist.

“Ok, I’m gonna give you a quick little tutorial of the way I think,” Hayes said this afternoon, preparing to make this the most interesting conference call in the history of conference calls. “I don’t necessarily believe in mermaids, but I believe in a theory that there could be mermaids.

“The world is 80 percent water or something ridiculous like that, and we’ve only discovered a small part of it. Every single day, we’re pulling out different creatures from the ocean and we find different forms of life in the ocean. My whole thing is who’s to say there can’t be an Ariel floating down there in the water somewhere? At the end of the day, there’s certain areas of the ocean we can’t even see. So that’s my theory on mermaids.”

So that’s settled. What about dinosaurs, though?

“This damn dinosaur thing, I just can’t go with,” he said. “I go to the dinosaur museum and you might see one bone that’s the actual fossil and everything else is like pieces that they put together around the fossil and created a T-rex. I went to the dinosaur museum and they told me most of the fossils on the one dinosaur—everything was completely fake. It was just like made-up fossils and maybe one piece of a leg. It just don’t make sense.”

As if that wasn’t enough, here’s a bonus.

“I don’t think man ever went to the moon,” Hayes said when asked if he had any other takes he wanted to share. “They told me not to say that, but that’s another one. We’ll leave that one alone because I’ve got plenty of theories. I can go all day. We don’t have to do it all right now.”

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