Dolphins K Cody Parkey better at kicking than Pro Bowl campaigning

(Photo by Allen Eyestone, graphic by Adam Hirshfield/The Post)

DAVIE—Cody Parkey demands that you stop what you’re doing immediately and vote for him to make the Pro Bowl.

Right now.

“Well, let’s see,” he said. “If you think I’ve done a good job this year, vote for me.”

Maybe demands was too strong of a word.

Anyway, the mild-mannered kicker from Jupiter has had a good year. He’s 13 for 14 on field goals, and it’s not his fault he doesn’t get more attempts. He has no control over that. The Dolphins are first in the NFL in opponent starting field position after kickoffs, and he’s believed to be the only kicker in the league to make good on two onsides kicks this year.

Back in his Dolphins debut, he walked calmly out to the middle of the field with one minute left and his team down two points and nailed a 54-yard field goal like it was nothing. The legend of The Jupiter Juggernaut was born that afternoon in Los Angeles, and now it’s time for his triumphant return to the Pro Bowl.

But he’ll have to beat out New England’s Stephen Gostkowski (leading vote getter) and Indianapolis’ Adam Vinatieri (best percentage). Fan voting ends Thursday—click here to vote—and the rosters are announced Dec. 19 for next month’s game in Orlando.

Here’s the best Parkey can do to convince you to vote for him:

Alright, go ahead sell yourself for the Pro Bowl.
“Wow, you’re putting me on the spot.”

Being surprised by someone asking you about the Pro Bowl isn’t a good start to campaigning for the Pro Bowl.
“No, it’s not… I think there’s a lot of kickers deserving of going to the Pro Bowl. Why would I want to go? Because I’m having a successful year, not only on field goals but also on kickoffs and I have a couple onsides kicks. I think overall I’m doing good things all around the board. Is that good?”

Adam Vinatieri has a higher percentage made. Discredit him. Why is Vinatieri a fraud?
[eye roll]

It’s a simple question.
“He’s so old, come on. No, I actually got to work with Vinatieri and he’s a great dude. It’s very, very impressive that he’s doing it at that age. I can’t knock anything.”

You’re not understanding how this works.
“I’m not helping myself?”

I mean, you sound like you want Vinatieri to get picked.
“I don’t like promoting myself. I need you to promote me.’

No problem. Stephen Gostkowski, also a fraud.
“Yeah, I mean, he plays for the Patriots, so we don’t want to vote for him.”

You and Vinatieri made the Pro Bowl in the 2014 season, and you started out with him in training camp with Indy your rookie year. Was he cool?
“Just watching him and how he prepares. He’s got a routine he sticks to. I like to stick to my routine. That’s maybe something I picked up from him. I don’t do the exact same things he does, but every day this is how he starts and you can just see him. I came in there thinking, ‘I’m 22 years old, this guy is 42. I’m gonna have a bigger leg than him.’”

Wait, you thought you’d beat out Adam Vinatieri?
“I didn’t say that. I said bigger leg.”

You’re a kid and you thought you’d put Adam Vinatieri in his place.
“Now you’re putting words in my mouth. I said I thought I would have a bigger leg than him. But he was the ageless wonder and he came out there the first day booting 60-yard field goals and he was incredible.”

What was the best part of being in the Pro Bowl?
“It was cool. Obviously I was a little star struck being a rookie, undrafted, and playing with guys—Shoot, I remember Cam Wake was there. Odell Beckham, Jr. You’re practicing with these guys and you’re like, ‘Oh, do I belong here?’ I was kinda star struck. It’s really cool.”

Did anyone know you?
“Probably not.”

Did anybody hand you their dry cleaning? Or were you not allowed in the stadium?
“No, but actually, my first game here, they didn’t want to let me into breakfast. I was like, ‘I’m a player.’ They asked me, ‘What’s your number?’ I was trying to get breakfast, man, and they were like, ‘What are you going in here for?’ They wouldn’t let me in. Eventually they believed me because I was fighting hard for it. I was just trying to eat, man. That was my first home game.”

The Tennessee game? You’d been the kicker for a month already.
“But I look like I’m 12.”

Back to the Pro Bowl. It’s in Orlando this year. That’s pretty close to home.
“Yeah, but it’d be a lot of tickets. I’d have to keep it to a minimum. It would be really coo, obviously, to go to Orlando. Only two hours from Jupiter. Go to Disney World and all that good stuff. That would be fun.”

Why are you not actively campaigning for this? You have a Twitter account.
“Yeah, I do.”

Yeah, but it’s just stuff about charity events. It’s time to use it for something that matters.
“I like to use my influence in a positive way and I don’t really like to promote myself. Some guys do, and that’s awesome, but that’s just not what I do.”

You could be the kicker with guns. Like Ed “Guns” Hochuli, but of kickers.
“I’ve got The Jupiter Juggernaut and plenty of tweets by you, so I think you guys have branded me pretty good.”

Last chance to sell yourself to the voters.
“Well, let’s see. If you think I’ve done a good job this year, vote for me. But I’m not gonna sell myself. I’m just gonna keep doing my job.”

[Ndamukong Suh has it out for Patriots QB Tom Brady]

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[Adam Gase has his finger on exactly what’s gone wrong vs. New England Patriots]

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